Chapter 97: Longing (Part Eight)

After entering the room and closing the door, Wei WuXian leaned against the doorframe. When he heard Lan WangJi close the door, he immediately reached out and slapped himself across the face.

He flopped onto the wooden bed and buried his still-smoky face in his palms. Even after a long time, the heat hadn’t gone away, either from his face or his body. He even reached for the teapot on the table and poured it over his head, but it was still no use. At this moment, his entire body smelled of Lan WangJi’s scent.

Wei WuXian knew that if he continued to stay here, with Lan WangJi just a wall away, and what they had done just moments ago, he probably wouldn’t be able to rest for the entire night. He definitely couldn’t stay here. He pushed the window open and stepped onto the windowsill. Like a black cat, he leaped out lightly, landing soundlessly on one of the streets outside the inn.

It was late at night. There was no one on the street, so Wei WuXian could run quickly.

Passing by the wall Lan WangJi had scribbled on while drunk, Wei WuXian finally stopped. There were rabbits, pheasants, and small figures on the wall, all in a mess. Looking at them, Wei WuXian remembered how dedicated Lan WangJi had been to drawing them, and how he had dragged them along, wanting Lan WangJi to admire them. He couldn’t help but smile.

An incomparable feeling of regret rushed into his heart.

If only he hadn’t let himself get so wild when he was drunk.

At least he could pretend to be honest and full of integrity, sleeping soundly or pretending to sleep curled up beside Lan WangJi without shame. Instead, he spent a sleepless night on the streets outside the inn, running around like a headless fly to vent his emotions.

Wei WuXian reached out, caressing the two figures kissing on the wall, and came to the words “Lan WangJi was here” right above him. He had to erase these words, but before he did, he used his fingertip to trace the lines of the name “Lan WangJi.”

Once. Twice. Three times.

The more he explored it, the more he didn’t want to let go.

Suddenly, he heard shuffling footsteps and became alarmed, as it was the middle of the night. As he rounded the corner and looked, he saw a figure in a black robe leaning against the wall, holding a file, diligently smoothing out the graffiti on the wall.

Wei WuXian, “…

Wen Ning turned around. His face was covered in white dust, “Young Master, why are you here?”

Wei WuXian, “What are you doing?”

“Oh.” Wen Ning, “Young Master Lan wrote a lot. If the people here wake up tomorrow morning and see this, it might cause them a lot of trouble, so I’m here to get rid of some of them…” After a pause, he asked, “Where is Young Master Lan?”

Wei WuXian lowered his head, “She’s asleep. I went out for a walk.”

Wen Ning noticed his unusual mood. He paused for a moment, “Young Master, what’s wrong?”

He took a few steps toward Wei WuXian before suddenly stopping and quickly backing away. Wei WuXian hesitated, “What are you doing this time?”

Wen Ning looked scared, waving his hands, “No, no. It’s nothing!”

Wei WuXian immediately knew he was embarrassed. Subconsciously, he glanced down at himself and noticed a few red fingerprints on his wrists, made by Lan WangJi when he had pulled and pushed him onto the bed. He touched his lips. They were still a little swollen. As they rolled around in bed dizzily, hugging each other so tightly they were almost fused together, Lan WangJi had been biting his body. His neck was probably quite a mess, too. 

If Wen Ning had blood on his face, he would have been so red that it was seeping out. Wei WuXian was at a loss for words, “You… Ugh!” He sat down in the corner and sighed, “I want some alcohol.”

Wen Ning immediately replied, “I will buy it.”

Wei WuXian, “Go back! What are you running away from?”

Wen Ning came back again, “Looking for alcohol…”

Wei WuXian, “You… I just said that, and you actually went looking. You’re not my servant, are you?”

Wen Ning, “I know.”

Wei WuXian, “Besides, do you have any money?”

Wen Ning, “No…”

Wei WuXian, “See?! I knew it!”

Wen Ning was envious, “But Young Master Lan has so much… so much money… How nice.”

“Ugh.” Wei WuXian banged the back of his head against the wall a few times, letting out a long sigh, “Forget it. I won’t drink anymore.”

Wen Ning was surprised, “Why?”

Wei WuXian, “Alcohol makes everything a mess. I will abstain.”

Wen Ning’s lips twitched. Wei WuXian, “What do you mean? You don’t believe me?”

Wen Ning muttered, “No, no… But in the past, didn’t Big Brother always fail to get you to stop drinking alcohol, despite trying everything…”

“Haha, haha.” Wei WuXian recalled, “She only pokes me with her needles every other day, right?”

After laughing for a long time, Wei WuXian suddenly said, “Wen Ning, have you ever thought about what you want to do after all this chaos is over?”

Wen Ning paused for a moment in surprise, “What do I want to do?”

Currently, in this world, Wen Ning didn’t have many close friends. In fact, he didn’t even know many people. Since a long time ago, he hadn’t been good at thinking for himself, let alone making decisions. He’d only followed Wen Qing or Wei WuXian. Furthermore, he probably didn’t know where he should go or where he could go. But Wei WuXian had always hoped he could find his own path. However, saying it like this was as if he was pushing him away.

He thought about it again. Wen Ning didn’t know where he was going, but he didn’t know either, did he? Initially, when he was with Lan WangJi, he hadn’t given this a single thought. He was certain they would continue like this without change. But after tonight, perhaps he and Lan WangJi would never go back to the way they were. Without Lan WangJi, it seemed impossible for him to explore the world alone.

But the voice inside Wei WuXian told him clearly,  No, you can’t.

The words he spoke at Koi Tower were indeed true. The current Wei WuXian couldn’t live without Lan WangJi.

Wei WuXian let out a long, exasperated sigh. “I want a drink.” The more he thought about it, the more desperate he felt. His persistent anxiety finally turned into a raging fire. He jumped up, “Fuck. Wen Ning, let’s go!”

Wen Ning, “Where are we going?”

Wei WuXian, “Looking for trouble!”